On this page we explore a very important concept: How to avoid death so we can continue our existence to do whatever it is we are supposed to do (what you should DO with your life should be found elsewhere). The following is a list of activities or circumstances that will definitely, or most likely, result in your demise. So in other words, you do NOT want to do the things on the following list.
1. Bungee jump either without a cord or with a cord and neglect to attach it or fail to check the distance of the jump and compare it with the length of the cord
2. Jump out of a perfectly good airplane with no way of stopping your descent
3. Attempt to jump off a bridge that somebody just sold to you
4. Play a rousing round of 'match in the gastank'
5. Dress as a speed bump for Halloween and go trick or treating
6. Attempt to have intercourse on a bed of nails
7. Count to one million out loud with no stoppages of any kind
8. Direct traffic in the middle of any major freeway
9. Attempt to 'ramp' your vehicle on a moving car carrier that has the top level folded down at a 45 degree angle
10. Play dodgeball with wrenches
11. Switch on at least three chainsaws and juggle them
11. Play 'King of the Lightning Pole'
12. Become Jackie Chan's stunt double or the stunt double that fights against Chuck Norris
13. Play 'pin the tail on the crocodile'
14. Swing at a pinata that strangely resembles an ICBM
15. Fire any sort of rocketed projectile straight upwards and remain standing
16. Pull the pin on a grenade then release said grenade. Then rush over and attempt to put the pin back in
17. Go to sleep on a lavabed
18. Apply as a rat poison taste tester
19. Attempt a live performance of 'The Matrix' with real props
20. See how many licks it takes to get to the center of a cyanide pill
21. Reach inside of an active tank turret to retrieve a baseball you hit that has lodged itself inside of the barrel
22. Disassemble your monitor and lick the capacitors
23. Become a target for a knife thrower that is allergic to the material the knives are made of that he or she happens to be throwing
24. Approach The Rock and proclaim, "Yes, I can smell what your cooking and I don't like it".
25. Dress as a moving target and attend a NRA gathering
26. Attempt to suplex a vending machine (especially one that has stolen your money)
27. Feed the bears (Contributed by D.F.)
28. Taunt Hippos (Contributed by D.F.)
29. Poke bears with sticks (Contributed by R.G.)
30. Tell your wife that the money she lent you was to buy Candy... at least you think that's what her name was...
31. Attempt to 'catch' a Boeing 747
32. Opt to go first in a round of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded .357 Magnum
33. Cannonball into the deep end of the La'Brea Tar Pits
34. Approach a crip or blood and proclaim, "My favorite color is purple."
35. Eat anything larger than your head in one bite
36. Purchase anything from a mysterious company that calls itself ACME
37. Demonstrate the concepts of gravity that were taught to you by a cartoon coyote (Contributed by D.F.)
38. Attempt to juggle lightsabers in the dark
39. Sneak behind The Incredible Hulk and give him a wedgie (Contributed by R.G.)
40. Approach Chuck Norris and... just approach Chuck Norris...
41. Buy a drink for a talking, animated rabbit named Roger
42. Attempt to wrap Christmas lights around the tree using an edged six foot boomerang
43. Instigate a rousing round of '1000 bottles of beer on the wall' and proceed to consume one beer after every verse
44. Marry an axe murderer
45. Attempt to key the Bigfoot monster truck while it is in motion
46. Use a metallic umbrella while walking through a thunderstorm (Contributed by D.Z.)
47. Try to arm wrestle Rogue. (Be sure to hold tightly!) - (Contributed by J.V.)
48. Wear a red shirt and get front row seats to a bull fight. (Contributed by J.V.)
49. Urinate a steady stream onto an electric fence. (Contributed by J.V.)
50. Put a 6" wire on the postive and negative stems of a car battery and licks the ends at the same time (Contributed by J.V.)
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